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2011-10-25_8:52 p.m.
Here I am! I should be doing homework and am enjoying a nice glass of wine and diary-ing it up instead. You're welcome! I've been despondent the past few days for no reason that is obvious to me. On the bright side, this morning I realize I've been alive for more than 6 years. I like that, 'I've been alive'. I've always valued the gift of life, but only for the past 6 years and odd number of days, I've valued mine. I've realized that it is the tough times, the silent special moments and the smiles that make life beautiful. Just because my life isn't what I thought it would be when I was in high school doesn't mean that its not worth living. If the only thing I am ever known for is being the best mom that I can be to a great kid, then I will be one of the happiest people who have ever lived. I think one of the things that has been nagging at me is the fact that Joey got a job at T-Mobile. He will work at the same place that I do, and though I know we won't be working together it still bother's me. He does need a better paying job to support his girl friend, her baby and their new son, but I deserve as much of a separate life from him as possible. Our weekly visits are more of Joey talking to me than of him getting to know Peter and I don't want to be friends with Joey, I just want to be friendly. Life has changed since high school and he is dragging it back. Not that there was anything wrong with high school, its just that I'm now a legitimate member of the real world and living in the safe world of secondary school isn't an option for me anymore so why bring it up. A prime example: Peter picked a new desktop for my computer with Gonzo on it and instead of saying something about how great Gonzo is and trying to create even the feeblest bond with his son, he mentions the Steve Hanzlik Gonzo penis thing. Does anyone understand where I'm coming from? I have no idea where I'm going with school. I'm thinking of just not going back, but I'm also thinking of talking every 101 class that is offered until I find out what I really want to do. I'm content where I am at work, but I know I shouldn't be. Oh god, I hope AT&T is approved to buy out T-Mobile and I get laid-off. Oh please, oh please, oh please. Better yet, Joey gets fired before training is over. Sometimes I think I'm too nice, then I have moments like this.
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