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2012-01-24_6:29 p.m.
I can't believe how time flies. Peter turned 5 last Sunday. 5. I just can't believe it. He's getting so big and becoming more cognizant of the people and world around him. I'm so lucky to see him learn and grow. I hope I still feel that way when he's a teenager! In other news, I'm not feeling really satisfied with my life right now. Everything is a let down after Disneyland! I want to go on a vacation again, to get that excitement back, that feeling of being somewhere special. I'm trying to find the comfort, that's not the right word but something like it, in everyday life. The mundane can also contain the most memorable moments and I've lost sight of that. I'm only taking one class this semester, which I'm still on the fence about whether I really want to commit. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I feel like I've resigned from the world of self-improvement. Like I've resigned from the world. I've become awkward towards any social interaction of any kind. I pretty much spend all of my time at my apartment or at my parents, which I've done forever really, but now is the first time I've felt like real loser about it. I should have friends and hang out with people, but I just hide out at home. Eh, roller derby is going to start up in about a month so I have that to look forward to. I feel so weird about being friends and hanging out with Jared because I'm pretty sure he still has feelings for me, but I don't have anyone else I can hang out with. He made me a freaking birdhouse and a giraffe out of paper clips for fuck sake! Ugh, I always mean to write in here, but my lack of life is not worth writing. I don't want to waste anyone's time. But the great thing is that no one has to read this is they don't want to! Go free will!
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